I Spit in Your Food

It seems as though some of our customers don’t know basic math. Many of our meals come in pagoda boxes that look similar to this. (It’s a link. Click on it.) So of course there is a limited amount of space which I can utilize when filling the customers orders. Because of this I have to know exactly what the customer wants, that way I can maximize the amount of food they get. Usually I will ask the customer if they want this, this and that included in their box. The customers that seem to have it down though, the ones who walk up and spout off what they want without waiting around and pondering, I don’t ask if they want anything extra. I’ve found that often times these people know exactly what they want, and want it in a very specific way, so asking if they want anything else is just wasted effort.
So, onto the math. Half and half=100%. At least in my world. So when a customer walks up and firmly states “I want half noodles and half vegetables.” I will fill up the pagoda halfway with the noodles, then the other half gets filled up with vegetables. There. 100%. Exactly what you wanted.
Me: “Would you like anything else?” (A force of habit and a way to make the customer feel as though I care about them.)
Customer who failed 1st grade math.: “Yes, I would like two scoops of meat, and put some rice on top.”
Me: (In my head) “Crap!” (no longer in my head) “Of course.”
The aftermath. A pagoda that has food spouting out of the top a good two or three inches. Impossible to close.

“I can has mathematical capable customers?”
“No, no mathematical capable customers for you.”