I Spit in Your Food

On occasion we have customers come in and ask if we have any specials. This is a question that always confuses me. What do you mean by special? Do you mean a vast amount of food for the least amount of cost? Or do you mean a new dish that we only prepare once every couple of months, so the dish itself is special?
I assume that the customer means option number one.
I wonder what would make the customer think that one random day they could get more food for less than what they have been paying for the last year or two. Cost of purchasing food had been rising, yet our kitchen has not raised the prices of food for sale in several years in an effort to keep costs down for the students. So, where do you get the idea that we would suddenly lower our prices and give you more food? The idiocy of it all!
Of course, these are the exact same people who come in on Fridays and ask if they could have a plate of food for free when we close. I then explain that sadly, I cannot give away food to an individual. When they ask why they can’t have free food I am forced to explain that we donate most of our leftovers to the local homeless shelter. A noble cause that most people are delighted to hear we do. But there are a few people who stun me with their logic. “So why can’t I have any free food then?”
At that point I struggle to keep my face from distorting into disgust. What I want to say is “Become homeless and hope a space in the homeless shelter opens up. Then you can get free food.”
Instead I normally shrug my shoulders, tell the customer thats the way it is and walk away. I feel like sobbing over the lack of common sense people seem to have, or laughing over the sheer stupidity of the question.